The 12 Pains Of Christmas
by Lady Bahiya
Summary: Draco and Severus knew that Harry never had an ideal Christmas, growing up with The Dursleys. They were determined to give him the best Christmas ever – the muggle way. No one told Draco it would be so hard!
1. The 1st thing at Christmas

**Title:** The 12 Pains Of Christmas – The Hogwarts Way

**Author:** Lady B

**Pairing:** Harry/Draco/Severus

**Rating:** PG13 for language

**Summary:** Draco and Severus knew that Harry never had an ideal Christmas, growing up with The Dursleys. They were determined to give him the best Christmas ever – the muggle way. No one told Draco it would be so hard!

**Author's Note:** I sat here the last few weeks thinking of what I was going to write for my annual HP-themed Christmas fic and this popped into my head. This will mostly be a series of song-fic drabbles to the tune of "The 12 Pains of Christmas" by The Bob Rivers Comedy Troupe. The chapters are short (ridiculously short!) and this story is complete. I will post one chapter a day until Christmas.

**Disclaimer:** All recognizable characters and plots from the Harry Potterverse belong to JK Rowling and various publishing companies and movie studios. "The 12 Pains Of Christmas" is written by Bob Rivers and I do not claim the rights to this song. I am not making any money from this, I am simply doing this for the fun of it. Any plot devices and original characters belong to me alone and are simply a figment of my imagination.

* * *

_**The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me, is finding a Christmas tree...**_

They had been wandering the lot of trees for what seemed like hours.

"Severus, I'm freezing! Why can't I use a heating charm?" Draco complained for the thousandth time. Severus had to clamp down on the urge to hex him.

"Because we promised Harry we wouldn't." Severus growled.

"This sucks." Draco whined.

"Don't be childish." Severus sighed, rolling his eyes when he caught Draco sticking his tongue out.

Harry ran toward them, eyes sparkling, face flushed with the cold and excitement.

"I found it!" he grinned, grabbing Draco's hand.

"S'about bloody time." Draco muttered. Severus could only shake his head as he followed his partners...

_TBC..._


	2. The 2nd thing at Christmas

**Disclaimer:** All recognizable characters and plots from the Harry Potterverse belong to JK Rowling and various publishing companies and movie studios. "The 12 Pains Of Christmas" is written by Bob Rivers and I do not claim the rights to this song. I am not making any money from this, I am simply doing this for the fun of it. Any plot devices and original characters belong to me alone and are simply a figment of my imagination.

* * *

_**The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Rigging up the lights...**_

"Why the hell aren't these lights blinking?" Draco complained later that evening. Severus felt his inner temperature go for mildly annoyed to slow-simmering rage.

"The flasher light is blown, hang on a minute." Harry stated, digging through a packet of spare bulbs he'd purchased. He quickly located the darkened bulb and changed it, grinning with delight when the lights began their twinkling right away. "I'm going to check on the popcorn. Think you can handle those lights?"

"Got it covered. How hard can it be?" Draco replied. Harry kissed Draco's cheek as he got to his feet, rubbing Severus's shoulder as he passed on his way to the kitchen.

"Draco you don't know what you're doing, do you?" Severus asked once Harry was out of earshot. Draco pulled out his wand.

"Easy as pie." Draco smirked.

"You promised." Severus reminded him.

"I hate muggles." Draco grumbled, stashing his wand away...

When Harry returned to the living room, he nearly bit his tongue in half to prevent himself from laughing at the sight he was now witness to.

Draco had tried hanging the lights on the tree and had gotten himself tangled up in the cords.

Severus, stoic man that he was famous for being, had no such qualms and was practically laying on the floor with laughter.

With a flick of his hand, Harry freed his lover, a small smile on his face.

"Fine! You're so bloody smart, you put up these lights!" Draco growled at Severus before storming away.

"Severus!" Harry sighed.

"I'll get him." he chuckled, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes. Harry laughed and went back into the kitchen, knowing Severus would calm Draco down...

_TBC..._


	3. The 3rd thing at Christmas

_**The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Hangovers...**_

"Draco, you need to get up. You'll be late for work." a voice whispered in his ear. Draco groaned and turned his head toward the speaker, regretting it not a moment later when a herd of dragons began doing the Can-Can in his head.

"Am I dead?" he moaned.

"No, but you should be after all that eggnog you drank last night. Didn't I warn you George always spikes it with vodka?" Draco cracked open an eye and stared at Harry and Severus, both of whom had amused smirks on his face.

"Just kill me," Draco told them, "I could use a Hangover potion right now."

"Hermione took the last of it for Ron and I haven't had a chance to brew more. You'll have to cure it the muggle way." Severus told him smugly. Draco looked at him, stunned, as Harry set a large glass on the bedside table.

"Tomato juice and hot sauce. Will definitely cure what ails you. Who wants steak and eggs?" Harry asked. Draco turned green and bolted for the bathroom.

_TBC..._


	4. The 4th thing at Christmas

_**The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Sending Christmas Cards...**_

"Oh this is beyond ridiculous!" Draco exclaimed, staring at the pile of cards covering every available surface of their living room.

"You promised you'd help me." Harry pouted.

"I promised to help you send Christmas cards to a few select people! Not the whole bloody wizarding community!"

"There are muggle ones here as well." Severus stated from his desk where he was tackling a stack of cards from former Hogwarts staff and students.

Harry scowled at him, "Fine, if you aren't going to help you can sleep in the guest room tonight."

After a moment of silence, Draco shuffled over to the chair across the desk that Harry was using and picked up an unsealed envelope.

"Can I at least use magic?"

"No." Harry told him, "Get licking."

"I'd rather be licking anything but envelopes right now." Draco muttered, thinking he hadn't been heard.

"That can be arranged. I believe our former Minister Fudge needs his arse shined." Severus stated, getting angry on Harry's behalf. Severus was getting sick of Draco's general whining and upsetting Harry. Draco's face flushed red and he silently began licking envelopes.

_Hours later..._

"Hear that, Harry?" Severus asked. Harry looked up at him.

"What's that?"

"Blessed silence." Severus smiled, pointedly looking at Draco. Draco scowled at them both.

"I warned you not to lick your lips after all those envelopes. Not my fault your lips glued shut." Harry laughed. Draco turned his glare up another notch, which had no effect on Harry. Harry waved his wand to clean Draco's face and proceeded to snog him senseless. Draco forgot his anger after that, "Thank you for helping me."

"You're welcome." Draco smiled, still dazed from the kiss.

_Maybe this won't be so bad, if it keeps putting a smile on his face._ Draco thought to himself...

_TBC..._


	5. The 5th thing at Christmas

_**The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Five months of bills!**_

Draco stared at the roll of parchment that seemed to stretch from one end of the house to another.

"What's this, then?" he wondered, proud of the fact that his voice was calm.

"A list of things I bought for the orphanages and Hogwarts." Harry told him, checking something on the parchment to the items in the large box on the floor.

"And what, exactly, did you buy for the little tykes?"

"Clothes, toys, a couple of Christmas trees, lights, stockings, four large Christmas hams..." As Harry rattled off his extremely large list, Draco clenched his fist at his sides and counted backward from seven million...in Swahili.

_An hour later..._

"...new cauldrons, potions supplies, new Quidditch gear, brooms, new tables for the Great Hall, and dinnerware." Harry finished, "You're angry."

Draco let out a slow steady breath, "I'm not angry. I'm just wondering why you felt the need to buy it all at once."

"Because it's Christmas and I wanted to. I never had a lot when I was younger and now that I have so much, I want to give back to the very people who accepted me, made me feel like I belonged here."

"Sounds like a good reason to me." Severus nodded.

"You okay with this?" Harry wondered. Draco saw the saddened look in his lover's eyes and felt his heart melt. He smiled and pulled Harry into his arms.

"It's fine, Harry."

"Thanks, love." Harry whispered in his ear.

_TBC..._


	6. The 6th thing at Christmas

_**The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: facing the in-laws...**_

Draco bit back the words that wanted to escape when he stepped out of the floo. All he could see was a room full of red hair and freckles. One of the twins (and it galled him to no end he still couldn't tell them apart after all these years) instantly latched on to his leg and wouldn't let go.

"Merry Christmas, Uncle Draco." the little ball of energy smiled up at him.

_In for a knut..._ "Merry Christmas, Charity." Draco replied. The 6-year old girl clinging to his leg smiled widely at him, revealing two missing teeth.

"You remembered my name this time!" He bent down and pulled the littlest Weasley into his arms.

"Well so I did. And where is your sister?"

"Serenity took Uncle Harry into the back to show him her new broom. Grandma Molly said we could try them out tomorrow."

"Draco! You made it!" exclaimed Molly, coming into the kitchen. She took Charity from him and shooed her into the living room before taking Draco's things and shoving a glass of eggnog into his hands. He set it down quickly when she wasn't looking and waded his way through the sea of Red to join his partners near the warm fire beside the Christmas tree.

_This may be the best Christmas yet, if I'm starting to tolerate The Weasleys._ Draco thought to himself as he pulled Harry into his arms. Harry smiled at him and rested his head on Draco's shoulder as the soft sounds of a Christmas melody filtered from the wireless.

_TBC..._


	7. The 7th thing at Christmas

_**The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: The Salvation Army.**_

"And just why are we doing this again?" Draco wondered as he skirted around dozens of boxes that had been stacked in their attic. Harry blew dust off one such box and sneezed.

"Because we don't need any of this stuff anymore." Severus replied, handing Harry a handkerchief.

"But it's my stuff, why should I give it to some dirty little orphan who probably won't take care of it properly?" Draco scowled. Harry looked up at him sharply, pain in his eyes.

"I'm one of those 'dirty little orphans', Draco. I can't believe you just said that." Harry whispered, hurt.

"Harry-" But Harry brushed by him, leaving him and Severus alone in the attic.

"After all that Harry has been through, you say the one thing guaranteed to hurt him the most. I cannot believe you, Draco." Severus said, disappointment coloring his tone.

"I didn't mean it, you know that."

"Then you also know why this charity function is important to Harry!" Severus snapped.

"I suppose you're mad at me, too." Draco sighed. Severus sat down next to Draco on the dusty floor and pulled him close.

"I'm not mad at you. I'm mad over the fact that after all we've been through to be together, all the battles we've fought, you still can't let your heart go."

"Someone once told me I don't have a heart." Draco stated.

"Do you love me?" Severus wondered. Draco looked at him, startled.

"Of course I do."

"Do you love Harry?"

"Yes."

"How do you know, Draco?" Severus asked. Draco stared at him, unsure how to answer. Severus saw this in his eyes and nodded. He got to his feet, dusting himself off. "When you know the answer, only then will your heart decide." Severus turned and left the room.

_TBC..._


	8. The 8th thing at Christmas

_**The eighth thing at Christmas, that's such a pain to me: I WANT A TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!**_

For the tenth time this day, Draco wondered how he let Harry and Severus talk him into this ridiculous farce.

_Oh yeah! Harry gave me his sad-eyed, kicked puppy look, and Severus threatened to withhold sex...for a month!_

"Smile...Santa!" Harry hissed between his teeth as the next child in line moved to sit on "Santa" Draco's lap. Draco resisted the urge to growl and turned a bright smile on the blonde, blue-eyed boy in his lap.

"And what do you want for Christmas, little boy? (1)" Draco/Santa asked. The little boy looked at him with wide unblinking eyes for the longest time. Just when Draco was about to send the child on his way, he came back to reality with a blink.

"I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!" the boy exclaimed in one breath. Draco stared at him, shocked for a moment, before an absurd thought came to him.

"You'll shoot your eye out, kid! Merry Christmas!" And he pushed the little menace off his lap.

"Draco!" Harry growled.

"Don't tell me you didn't think of it either."

"I did, but still -"

"I will not contribute to the delinquency of a minor, no matter how long Severus holds back sex." Draco whispered. Harry couldn't help but chuckle as he drew forward the next child.

"I WANT A TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!!" the kid shouted directly in Draco's ear. Draco looked at Harry, whose face was bright red with suppressed laughter.

"You. Owe. Me." Draco growled.

_(1) From the Jean Sheppard movie "A Christmas Story" – which I also do not own._

_TBC..._


	9. The 9th thing at Christmas

_**The ninth thing at Christmas, that's such a pain to me: finding parking spaces...**_

Harry sat in the back of the sleek silver Jag, struggling not to laugh as Draco moved the car up and down the parking lot of the shopping center. Draco had insisted on going Christmas shopping the muggle way and Harry didn't argue with him, allowing this small concession for the holidays.

Draco didn't count on having to fight people for an empty spot.

"There's one." Severus pointed out, watching as a car pulled out. Draco sighed with relief, but the minute he started to turn in, a smaller, faster car beat him to it. The man got out and looked a Draco with a rueful grin.

"Sorry, buddy! Better luck next year!" the man called out before jogging into the building. Harry felt the magic in the air and decided to, just this once, let Draco have his way. It was only fair, after all he had put up with over the last week.

Before Severus could blink, Draco had drawn his wand and levitated the man's car to the roof of the mall, obliviating any muggles who witnessed the strange phenomenon. Smirking at his lovers, he pulled into the empty slot.

"Feel better now?" Severus asked.

"Much." Draco smiled, opening the car door, "Let's go shopping!"

_TBC..._


	10. The 10th thing at Christmas

_**The tenth thing at Christmas, that's such a pain to me: "Batteries not included!"**_

_Such an innocuous phrase._ Draco sighed, staring at the three words at the bottom of the box.

He knew what it meant of course.

_Why did I let Severus talk me into buying this thing?_

"Because you asked me what Harry never had as a child and I told you one of those hand held electronic games teenage muggle boys are so fond of. Not my fault you forgot batteries for it." Severus replied, guessing Draco's thoughts.

"I don't supposed you would know if any are around here?" Draco asked, staring at all the open bags and wrapping paper covering every surface of their bedroom.

"_Accio triple a batteries!_" Severus grinned, watching as one of the smaller bags flew into his hand.

"Thank you, Severus." Draco said, his heart melting a little.

Severus offered Draco one of his rare smiles, "You're welcome."

Draco went back to his wrapping.

_He's finally starting to get it._ Severus nodded to himself.

_TBC..._


	11. The 11th thing at Christmas

_**The eleventh thing at Christmas, that's such a pain to me: stale TV specials...**_

_"You know Dasher...and Dancer...and Prancer...and Vixen..."_ Draco stared at the television screen, trying his damndest to stop his eye from twitching. Harry had fallen in love with the movie "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer" some years before and had been watching it every year since.

His hand twitched toward the remote, wondering if he could get away with changing the channel. Then Harry snuggled closer, nuzzling his nose in the warmth of Draco's neck, and stilled in his sleep with a small sigh. Draco gave him a tender smile and moved his hand away from the remote. Across the room, Severus caught his eye and smiled warmly.

_I understand now._ Draco murmured in his mind.

_Good._ Severus nodded.

_TBC..._


	12. The 12th thing at Christmas

_**The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: singing Christmas carols...**_

Harry sat between Draco and Severus at the Royal Opera House in London, watching the Vienna Boys Choir perform their annual Christmas concert. He was enchanted with the music, letting it fill his heart with Christmas joy and love. He raised the hand on his left, kissing Severus's palm. Severus gifted him with a warm smile and a whispered "I love you."

Harry turned to look at Draco, stunned by what he saw on his face. Draco had tears streaming down his cheeks and his eyes were wide in awe. Harry gently touched his arm and Draco looked at him.

"I love you, Harry." Draco whispered. Harry's own eyes widened. It was the first time he could recall since their bonding that Draco had ever said those words.

The smile those three words placed on Harry's face, would live in Draco's memory forever.

"I love you, too, Draco. Merry Christmas." Harry smiled, leaning forward to kiss him.

_The End!_


End file.
